Building Self Confidence: How to Initiate a Virtuous Cycle
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Part 1 of 2
It's no secret that self-confidence is very important to
achieving success in any area of life. The thing about
self-confidence is that it is very sensitive to our personal
experience and is inherently instable.
In other words, your
self-confidence has a "snowball affect." And it can snowball in a
positive direction or it can snowball in a negative direction.
Here's how it works:
How the "Negative Snowball" works
1. If you start out with low self-confidence (see below to learn
more about how this happens), you're less likely to take on
challenges or try new things.
2. On the rare occasion that you try to accomplish something,
your low self-confidence can sabotage your efforts and you're
much less likely to succeed.
3. Your lack of accomplishment and your failures reinforce your
low self-confidence.
4. Then it's back to step 1 and the cycle repeats; limiting your
ability to live a better life.
How the "Positive Snowball" works
1. If you have self-confidence, you're more likely to attempt
just about anything, so you try more things.
2. And when you attempt something with confidence in your
abilities, you're very likely to succeed.
3. As a result, your success increases your self-confidence.
4. Return to step 1 and repeat, and repeat, and repeat until you
reach your full potential!
Wearing a Groove in Your Brain
At the risk of over-simplifying a phenomenally complex process,
what's happening in your brain is that these snowball cycles
"wear a groove" through the vast array of neurons and synapses.
So, neurologically you are physically carving a path of least
resistance through your brain. With enough reinforcement, you
develop a reflex to certain kinds of stimuli.
For example, if a smoker tries to quit smoking and fails - and he
allows a negative snowball cycle to take place - he'll lose
confidence in his ability to quit. And he'll eventually develop a
negative reflex to the idea of quitting. Once that happens, if
anyone suggests that he quit or someone offers a new way to try
to quit, his brain will automatically reject the possibility. In
his brain, the mere suggestion of quitting will trigger an
impulse that will follow that well-worn path of least resistance;
the path that equates "trying to quit" with "failure."
But this works the other way, too. A positive snowball cycle will
wear a groove that creates a positive reflex. We've all known
people like this. They're the ones who are eager to try anything
and seem to succeed at everything. And in the rare occasions when
they fail, they are undeterred. The positive reflex they've
created in their brain allows them to learn from their mistakes
and equate "failure" with "I'll do even better next time!"
How Does the Low Self-Confidence Cycle Start?
Unfortunately, virtually everyone has been programmed from
childhood with negatives that make us believe we can't do things
that we are innately capable of doing. A lot of it is
self-imposed programming. If we fail to do something perfectly
the first time we try it, it is only human nature to begin to
believe that we can't do it.
We also receive negative programming from others that can greatly
impact our self-confidence. We are told repeatedly as a child
"You can't do this" or "You'll never be able to do that." If we
accept this programming - which, again, is only human nature -
our self-confidence is weakened accordingly.
Take a moment now to think back on your own life. Think about the
things that you've been led to believe you cannot attain but that
you know intellectually are entirely possible. It could be
anything; a certain level of income; academic achievement; great
athletic performance; success at love, etc. If you're like most
people, it won't take long to come up with a sizable list.
Fortunately, when some people are told they can't do something,
they refuse to accept that programming and go on to prove that
they indeed can. For example;
Beethoven's teacher said he was hopeless as a composer.
Thomas Edison's teachers said he was too stupid to learn
anything
Leo Tolstoy, the author of War & Peace, was told he couldn't
learn
Albert Einstein did not speak until he was 4, didn't read until
he was 7. His teacher called him mentally slow.
One of the early teachers of the great opera singer Enrico
Caruso said he had no voice at all & could not sing.
There are many other examples, but the point is that each and
every one of us has given up on at least one thing because we
lacked the confidence to try! And the world has undoubtedly been
robbed of the great contributions of countless gifted people
because of such negativity.
In Part 2 of this report, you'll learn that your self-confidence
can be "reprogrammed." You'll learn about the different
techniques that have been proven to be very effective and I'll
focus on one technique that you can start to use immediately that
will instantly begin to help you improve your confidence and
self-esteem.
Part 2 of 2
In Part 1 of this report you learned how your self-confidence is
formed and how it is extremely sensitive to your experience and
outside influences. In this part, you'll learn what you can do to
improve your self-confidence.
How to Build Your Self-Confidence
The good news is that a negative self-confidence cycle is
completely reversible! You can learn how to eliminate existing
negative thought reflexes and replace them with positive thought
reflexes. By mastering a few easy techniques you'll be able to
recognize and reject negative programming before you allow it to
begin to erode your confidence.
There are dozens of techniques to help you build your
self-confidence and self-esteem. These include:
Positive Affirmations
Guided Visualization
Mental Imagery
Goal-Oriented Meditation
Breathing Techniques
Subliminal Programming
Whole-Brain Learning
Here's one simple technique you can start using today that will
help you initiate a virtuous cycle of improved self-confidence.
Using Positive Affirmations to Build Self-Confidence
Positive Affirmations are carefully-worded positive statements
that you repeat to yourself and are designed to establish new
thinking patterns in your mind. Using affirmations is a very
effective way to build self-confidence. It seems simple - and
initially it can actually be a little uncomfortable - but
remember, what you're trying to do is to wear a new groove in
your brain. You're trying to create a new path of least
resistance and establish a positive reflex in your mind. And the
best way to create a new reflex is through repetition of positive
thoughts, images and feelings.
At the end of this article, I've included a small handful of
powerful affirmations for you to begin using today. The way to
use affirmations is to repeat the statements to yourself (out
loud or silently). When you repeat an affirmation, feel it,
believe it, and know it! Put some positive emotion into it.
Emotion-backed programming is the most powerful and long lasting.
Allow yourself to experience the feelings of joy, satisfaction,
power and self-confidence as you do each affirmation. Make each
one a true part of your reality.
Use your favorite affirmations routinely throughout the day, and
really feel them. When you do you will eventually make a quantum
leap. You will suddenly be far beyond the doubts that accompany
wishing, hoping, daydreaming, and even believing. You will enter
the zone of knowing.
When you enter the zone of knowing, supreme self-confidence is
automatically there. All doubt is gone. You know you can do it.
You know it will happen, just as surely as if it had already
happened. And quite likely at some dimension it has happened -
for you! When you enter the zone of knowing, your
self-confidence is unshakable and your untapped potential is
released. You feel invincible!
Another great way to use affirmations is to say them while
looking in a mirror. Say them with feeling and soon you'll
become aware of how powerful your eyes are.
It's said that the
eyes are the windows of the soul. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that
each of us carries in our eyes the exact indication of our rank.
We send messages with our eyes that show how we think of
ourselves and how self-confident we are. And that influences how
others respond to us.
The more our eyes bespeak self-confidence
and self-esteem, the more other people are likely to hold us in
high esteem. Some people have developed a penetrating gaze that
makes it seem as if they can look into your very soul. As you
practice your affirmations in the mirror, you'll see this in your
own eyes and soon others will feel the confidence that you
project.
Sample Affirmations
I now free myself from false limits
I choose to be self-confident
I now feel self-confident
I radiate self-confidence
I reject negativity at all levels of consciousness
I love turning negatives into positives
The more positive I am, the more confident I am
I now think as a positive person
I breath as a positive person
I feel positive and confident
I am intelligent
I am capable
I speak with self-confidence
My body language projects self-confidence
People sense my self-confidence, which gives them confidence in
me
I am positive and confident
I'm becoming aware of my true potential
I enjoy being positive
Being positive builds my self-confidence
I feel positive and confident
I am positive and confident
Start Today
There are many other powerful techniques that you can use to
improve your self-confidence and build your self-esteem. But this
will get you started in the right direction.
The most important thing to remember is that repetition and
positive emotions are critical to changing the way you think.
While it's possible to do this on your own, most people need a
defined program for the direction and support they need to commit
to a change.
Many people find that listening to audio programs (like those
available at http://www.efflearn.com) is the best way to provide
the consistency that's needed to develop new, healthy, positive
thought habits. In addition to Positive Affirmations, the best
audio programs will incorporate a variety of techniques including
guided visualizations, mental imagery, goal-oriented meditation,
subliminal programming, whole-brain learning, and more.
So, employ whatever resources you need to commit to improving
your self-confidence. Whether it's an audio program or help from
your friends, family or therapist - your self-confidence is too
important to allow it to wither away. Be confident that you can
improve your confidence and it will change your life.
About the Author:
Jeff Griswold is the President of Effective Learning Systems,
Inc. (http://www.efflearn.com/selfesteem.php), the leading
creator of audio CDs and tapes for helping you build self-esteem
and self-confidence. With over 100 titles available, their
programs are the bestselling self-improvement audio programs in
national bookstores - including Barnes & Noble and Borders - and
have been for over 20 years. Jeff can be reached at
mailto:griswold@efflearn.com or 952-943-1660. To request a free copy of
"The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn," a 24-page report showing
you how you can harness the unlimited power within yourself to
achieve your full potential, go to:
http://www.efflearn.com/best-thing.php
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